Promise of Tears
by Danaeyl Panthernopaeus
Summary: I never promised you mine. K/S or S/K - the choice is yours. A series of stand-alone one shots.
1. Promise of Tears

**~Promise of Tears~**

 **Author:**  
Danyael Panthernopaeus.

 **Theme:**  
Alternate Universe.

 **Storyline:**  
Let go.

 **Disclaimer:**  
Everything of and referring to Star Trek is not mine. This is a non-profit, fan-made story. Please support the official release.

* * *

The park was a sheet of pure white. It was desolate and completely uninviting. Except two children whom had decided to take advantage of the emptiness. They squealed happily, as they created a snowman. They helped the other. It was gentle and warm; brother and sister. Their eyes were wide with wonder and innocence, as more of the flaked ice fell from the dark skies.

Their playful antics were stopped when they noticed me. The shirt I wore was torn in several places, exposing my skin. It also showed that I was injured, with fresh blood pumping from my veins. It tainted the snow behind me. It had never been my intention to be seen in such a manner, but there was little I could do to stop it. All I wanted to do was find a rock I could crawl under.

The snow was up to my knees. Walking through the ice was proving more difficult than I originally thought in my current state. My breath was ragged. The more I tried to breathe, the more blood I brought up. The brother held to his sister tightly, keeping her behind him. He did not know whether to run away with her, or to ask me if I needed help. I was not sure which would be best for them, either.

Images of what had happened moments prior flashed before my eyes. The horrid fight, the detaching of my arm, and the removal of several ribs. It was going to take weeks for my body to heal, if I survived that long. My blood sprayed over the walls, like art. I might have been able to crawl my way out of that hell, but my attacker was not as lucky. He was in several pieces around the room.

As I passed the children, the boy cleared his throat nervously. He asked me if I was okay, and I just looked down at him. Blood ran down from the corner of my right eye, like unusual tears. I reached out a hand, and placed it on top of his messy dark hair. I mustered as much of a smile as I could, telling him that he should not worry about me. He tried telling me that I needed help, and said that he could flag down someone that could help.

Such a pure heart, I told myself. I shook my head, instantly regretting that decision. The park swam around me, and I lost my balance. The snow was not much of a soft cushion, but it was much better than falling onto solid concrete. I coughed up more blood, and the children hovered over me. The boy told his sister to find someone to help me.

I told her to stop, and she did. I forced myself onto my feet, and continued on my way through the park. I could feel their eyes on me, and if I was not in the state I was, I was sure it would have bothered me a little. They were worried about me. That seemed like something that was missing from the world. As bleak as the park was, the children brought it to life. How badly I wanted to be part of that, but there were some things that one could not have in life.

I made my way over to a bare, snow covered tree. Icicles hung from the branches dangerously. If one of them decided to fall, I would be powerless to stop it or even get out of the way. I collapsed beneath the tree, my mind wandering.

Like pieces of a jigsaw, I was trying to fit together how I ended up beneath a tree, nearly dead. His face appeared in the front of my mind, and I could not stop myself from chuckling bitterly. He would love to see me like this. Helpless, lost and almost dead. It would be the perfect vision for him to witness, and how I wished he could.

I would give anything to have him there. I would fulfil a promise I made months ago. Or was it years ago? How long had I been gone? How long had I been back? Did he even know? The picture forming in my mind was beginning to waver. Uhura's large eyes stared at me with concern, tears lining them. How long would she mourn?

I took in a sharp breath. The icy air stung the back of my throat, and my fingers gripped at the white powder on the ground. _Be with me. If you wish to see it, let the lights guide you,_ I called to him. I knew he would hear my silent words, as there was not much else I could do. I could not stand any longer, and I knew that when I was in trouble, he would always find me.

I was not sure how long I laid there, staring at the snow that fell silently. But after what seemed an eternity, I felt a warm hand on my head. I forced my eyes to look at the person crouched over me. His eyes were soft as he stared down at me. I knew he was pitying me, but there wasn't anything I could do to stop that. I never thought I would see the day he would pity something like me.

And like a silent moving playing, the night of our first sexual encounter came back to me. He had been brutal with me; I allowed him. He had done everything in his power to make me cry. He had no idea that my threshold for pain was ridiculously high. I had never lead him astray on that. He always thought that he could outdo me. I had lead him on with that.

My hand shook badly as I reached out to touch his face. I would give anything for one last time with him. If I could summon the energy to kiss him, I would. If I could do anything to be held by him, I would. And as though he was reading my mind, he pulled me into his arms.

If Uhura saw us, it would be a strange spectacle. She would not think me weak enough to be held by the likes of him. I never thought myself weak enough to be held by the likes of him. I reached up, placing a hand on his cheek. He looked down at me, tears lining his eyes.

It was meant to be me that cried. He had tried everything to make me cry. He had tried _everything_. Why was he the one that felt the pain? Why could I not feel anything in my eyes? What made him more human than me? We were the same monster, but he still had a connection to his emotions. Why?

"You idiot," he whispered. His voice was almost lost on the wind that swept by us. "You were the one who was meant to cry for me."

"Please believe that I tried," I rasped, somehow finding the energy. My blinks were becoming slower, and heavier. "I never promised you my tears."

"I guess you will have to accept mine instead," he told me.

His arms tightened around me. And for the first time in a long time, I felt it. My heart fluttered, and my stomach tightened. I never thought he would care so deeply about me. There was such warmth in his eyes; something that no one would have ever guessed could be done by him.

For the first time, I let go. The single tear that escaped each eye felt hot on my cheeks. The last thing I would ever remember would be the feel of his lips on mine, and one of us whispering a name. Was it him or me? I would never know.

"Spock."

* * *

End.

Thank you for reading.

Please review, if you so feel inclined to.


	2. Promise of Betrayal

**~Promise of Betrayal~**

 **Author:**  
Danyael Panthernopaeus.

 **Theme:**  
Alternate Universe – Academy.

 **Storyline:**  
Come closer.

 **Disclaimer:**  
Everything of and referring to Star Trek is not mine. This is a non-profit, fan-made story. Please support the official release.

* * *

As the time whittled away, it was all I could do to remain sane. The seconds seemed to move backwards. I found that was always the case when I wanted to be somewhere. I did not need to be there, but I _wanted_ to be there.

All I wanted was a glimpse of him. I would never speak to him, but just a glance was I needed to get through the day. The sight of those intelligent eyes, smooth skin, along with that strong jaw was enough for me. People would tell me that I am fool yet I did not care. There was something enchanting about him. Without even speaking to me I was under his spell. And I was perfectly okay with that.

If the world ended tomorrow, I would be fine with that. As long as I was able to lay my eyes upon him. I wanted him to know that I was watching. Somehow, I knew that he could feel my gaze, yet he never looked around to see who would stare at him with that kind of intensity. It would remain that way, until our classes would pull us in different directions.

I wanted to be in his classes, just to see if he was as intelligent as his eyes said he was. They rarely missed a thing, unless he did not want to know. I needed to know his name, but it was something that was unimportant. We were never to meet and that was something I could live with. I would just have to keep him as a memory when my time here comes to an end.

Even at lunch, he would usually only have one other at the table with him. They would talk; their eyes alight with the fire of whatever the topic was. Several times I found myself walking towards him, only to remind myself that he is to become a memory. I could not take his memory by doing something stupid such as talking to him.

After classes were done for the day was the only time I could get to myself. He would not cloud my thoughts with those piercing eyes or that body I knew would feel wonderful against mine. The chess club was where I could make moves without thinking of the consequences. Of course I never thought for a moment that that would come to a crashing and resounding halt.

For he walked in as though he owned the room. He nodded at the club president and moved around, stopping and watching the matches. I tried to keep my focus on the board in front of me. He would not make me lose a game. Yet I could not stop myself from sneaking glances at him. I knew he would be a challenge when it came to this game. His mind was already five moves ahead, much like mine.

With him around to distract me, I lost the game to an amateur. I congratulated him and grabbed my bag. The club still had another hour and a half to it, but I could not be around him and expected to play correctly or logically. I needed to be away from everything that was that…Adonis.

Before I could make my full exit, he blocked my path. His eyes danced under the bright lights of the room and my heart seemed to stop beating. It was impossible, yet it was beating so fast that I could hardly feel it any longer. He gestured to an unused board and as much as I wanted to decline, I found myself sitting opposite him.

We did not speak but would study each other. I would look up to see his eyes probing mine with unspoken questions and I would gaze back; hopefully giving him the answers that he was seeking. His long fingers would curl around the pieces and I had to stop my hormones from taking over my body. With an innocent glance, I knocked over my king and stood. I nodded my head in acknowledgement before I left the room briskly.

No one has ever made me feel that way and no one ever would.

* * *

He was there for every meeting with the chess club. All I could do was play the game and try not to be obvious with my glances as I watch his eyes darken with though. Never in my life have I needed to know someone. Never in my life have I ever wanted to possess someone and make sure no one hurt him. Not that he came across as weak. In fact, I probably wanted to possess him more for my benefit than for his.

I stared at him; at his lips. The urge to the do the human thing and kiss that mouth, despite not being the way that Vulcans kiss, was nearly impossible to ignore. I needed to know what they felt like. I needed to feel them on mine. I knew it was no acceptable but that was how he made me want to act.

I had no doubt he knew what was going through my mind. He would look up from the board and his eyes would twinkle. It could be from the lights of the room, but I just knew he knew. Perhaps that was why he would let me win some games. His presence threw me out of balance, which was something that I did not enjoy.

As we played, I could not help but notice the way he would look almost apologetic for taking one of my pieces. He would just about lovingly take the piece from the board and hold it for a moment, before adding it to the ever growing pile beside his hand. I had no idea why he was doing that, but I decided that it might be a ploy on his behalf. Though, I highly doubt that.

The game ended with him winning and I grabbed my bag, nodding my head at him. I left him to pack away the board and departed from the room. I needed time to myself, so I could collect the thoughts that were running through my head. How could someone affect me so badly? It was a question that had no answer or had no answer that I wanted to know.

* * *

The weeks wore on and I would catch glimpses of him between classes. We never spoke to each other outside of chess. I could almost convince myself to talk to him, only to clear my mind and walk away from him. He was speaking to a female cadet, anyway. I did not want to interrupt them with my awkward conversation starter.

Then I saw what he did. He kissed the cadet he was with and I quickly looked away. Perhaps I was falling for him, considering the ache in my throat, which could be a result of tears. I headed to my class and decided to miss chess that evening, as I did not want to be around him. It was ridiculous and childish and completely illogical, but so completely human. I sighed and got through the rest of class, pushing him and that girl to the back of my mind.

That was how I was for the next three weeks. I was unaware of how much time had passed, as I asked for extra work to do in my classes. As I was working through my xenolinguistics homework, there was a buzz at my door. I stared at it, suddenly apprehensive on who was on the other side. For some unknown reason, I believed it would be him. Yet I never told him my name, so it did not seem possible for him to be there.

I went to the door and opened it, gazing directly at him. He hesitated a moment, as though he didn't expect me to be there. At that time, he should have been with the chess players. However, something compelled him to come here, to my dorm. As much as I wanted to invite him in, I just continued to gaze at him.

Eventually, he straightened his shoulders and asked, "May I come in?"

I stepped to the side and he entered, his eyes taking in everything. I closed the door and went over to my desk, tidying up my books and shutting down my computer. He stood beside the desk, glancing at the beds. I wanted him to leave, so I offered him something to drink. He declined and I sat down at my desk, watching him as he watched me.

"I missed you at chess," he said softly, placing a hand on the corner of my desk. His fingers gently trailed over the smooth surface and I blinked, trying to get those pesky hormones under control again. "The others seemed to miss you, as well."

"I have had studies to attend to."

"Really? Are you sure it has nothing to do with that girl that kissed me?"

I could feel my face starting to get hot. I quickly suppressed it, but he noticed the tension around me as I did so. His eyes softened slightly as he stepped closer. I got to my feet and stepped away from him, putting the chair between us.

"From what I saw," I started as I studied his movements. "You were the one to instigate the action."

"She looked a little like you, so I had no issue with it." He stepped closer, moving the chair out of the way. "Do you feel I have betrayed you?"

"You cannot betray me, as we are not romantically involved. Therefore ––"

"Enough," he said and I tilted my head to the side vaguely. He stood directly in front of me, placing a hand on my hip. I fought to keep my eyes open and act as though it did not bother me. I never expected him to act like this, as it was not something he would do. "You still felt as though I betrayed you."

I stepped back from him, suddenly feeling my resolve return. "With someone like you, the promise of betrayal is a guarantee."

* * *

End.

I feel this one was not as good as the first. However, I did write in a spare hour I had over the weekend and I am proud of that.

Thank you for reading. Please feel free to leave your thoughts in a review.

 **Special thanks to:** Aerys Krystie and Guest.

Thank you to everyone that placed their story on their favourite list.


	3. Promise of Freedom

**~Promise of Freedom~**

 **Author:**  
Danyael Panthernopaeus.

 **Theme:**  
Alternate Universe – Mirror Verse.

 **Storyline:**  
Relinquish it.

 **Disclaimer:**  
Everything of and referring to Star Trek is not mine. This is a non-profit, fan-made story. Please support the official release.

* * *

The observation deck was empty, which was something I always enjoyed. The solitude was something he enjoyed. He would stare out the windows blankly, watching as the stars moved by the ship and occasionally drop his eyes. While he was here, he did not need to worry about anyone sneaking up on him and taking his life. It was the simple pleasures in life that we enjoyed the most.

The doors hissed closed behind me, and his ears twitched at the sound of his sanctuary being invaded. He looked over at me, and he inclined his head. I took that as an invitation to enter the deck, and he would not slaughter me for invading his haven. He kept his eyes on me until I sat down on the bench across from his. Once I had pulled out my PADD, his eyes left me and went back to the window.

I tried to keep my mind on the reports I needed to sign off on, but I was acute to every twitch and sound that came from him. I knew his senses were heightened, as well. While we had an understanding, there was no trust between us. One did not want to lose the chair and the other did not want to take it. We came to a mutual agreement to protect the other.

He stood, moving towards the window. He rested against it, turned towards me. His eyes closed and for a moment, he seemed peaceful. As though the stress of his job was gone, and the fact that someone wanted him out of the way was no longer an issue. I stared at his face, trying to understand how I knew what he felt. His face was impassive. Yet there was something in the lines around his mouth that did not seem as hard as usual.

His eyes opened and he caught me staring at him. He raised an eyebrow, asking questions and demanding answers. No one was allowed to gaze at him so freely, not without repercussions. I said nothing as I continued to watch him, curious on what he would do to make me stop. He stepped closer to me and I stood, holding my ground. I was not going to be caught off-guard by him.

He stopped inches from me, staring directly into my eyes, as though he could read them. I did my best to keep them empty. He was one of the best commanding officers that this fleet had ever seen, but I also knew that he was highly paranoid, despite hiding it so well. He could never relax and I knew what that feeling was. He wanted to make sure that I was not going to betray him.

The thought had crossed my mind several times during his command, but I could not handle someone else taking his place. I gazed into the eyes that struck fear into the hearts of almost every person on this ship. They were darkening, and that was an emotion I knew well. I dropped the PADD, and wrapped a hand around his throat. I pinned him to the bench, straddling his hips. He could easily remove me as I had left him that option, but I really wanted to know what he would do.

I lowered my eyes to his lips, curiosity taking over me. Before I could do something that would result in my untimely demise, I forced myself to look into his eyes again. There was a hidden challenge in those eyes. He wanted me to do something that would be unusual for me, and I wanted to do it as well. I had no idea what I wanted to do, but the idea of taking him back to my quarters, and making him scream with either pleasure or pain crossed my mind.

The downside to that was I could not allow myself to be that weak. He was waiting for something to use against me, even if it was himself. Every single one of them was waiting for me to make some kind of connection to someone, just to secure my downfall. I could not be that frail, which meant a life of loneliness, and burdens that I could not discuss with someone. My position was one of two prime positions, and I was not going to give it up to _anyone_.

However, the longer I sat here, on him with my hand around his throat, was another sign of weakness. I could not bring myself to murder him, even though everything in me was screaming to do so. He was my perfect companion, and I was not ready to lose that because of my paranoia. As I continued to watch those eyes, something flitted across them, and I released his throat. I did not move.

He sat up slightly. His eyes were swirling with strange emotions, mainly curiosity and anxiety. He wanted to know what I had planned. I pushed him back down, narrowing my eyes a little. I wanted him to know that I was the one in command of the situation. He had given away a lot of himself in that one moment, and I wanted – _needed_ – him to know I now know.

"Relinquish it."

A small chuckle sounded, though it was mirthless. "I would never."

The tables were turned, and I knew I had to figure out a way to make him understand. He would never believe me, as I had never given him a reason to. While we did not lie to each other, we withheld facts and information. We had to know how loyal the other was, and so far nothing bad had happened to either of us.

We exchanged words for a few moments.

"I can give you that one weakness you have."

"I highly doubt that. You would extort that weakness for personal gain."

"So would you."

We came to a stalemate. I told hold of his hand, and focused all f my energy on the sincerity in my words. I would make him understand one way or the other, but I was desperately hoping it would be the way that would keep him by my side. So much had happened between us, and I did not need him moving further away from me. I needed him by my side.

His lips parted slightly, drawing my full attention to them. They were beautiful, and I found a strange urge coming over me. I wanted nothing more to kiss that mouth. I wanted to say damn to the rules of etiquette, and give in to all my base impulsions. Though, that could not happen here. We were too exposed to do anything risqué while on the observation deck, despite how empty it was.

I leant down, and pressed my lips to his. He tensed, but I wrapped my hand around his throat again. If he had a plan to throw me off, he forgot it. His eyes closed, and he finally started to reciprocate the kiss. I loosened my hand, hoping he would not do anything. He decided to place his hand over mine, applying pressure to his larynx. I pulled back, and looked down at him.

He touched my cheek, before he took hold of my hand and rolled off the bench. I pursed my lips slightly as my back hit the ground. He leant down, sniffing along my neck for a moment. He stood up, and gazed down at me. He did not look happy, but he rarely did these days.

"I will never relinquish that."

"If you relinquish yours, I can promise you mine."

* * *

End.

Thank you for reading. If you have any thoughts, comments or questions, please feel free to review and I will get back to you as soon as possible.


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